God’s Lap

The 23rd Sunday in Ordinary Time
Today’s Readings: [Click here]

When I was a brand-new priest, I think I took the prophet Ezekiel’s words very personally—and maybe I should say, even pompously: I have appointed you watchman for the house of Israel (Ezek 33:7). I felt it was my job to be God’s Doberman, sniff out sins, and right the errors of the world.

And of course Matthew’s gospel today explains the stages and steps of how that correction should be handled. I was ready, trained and rarin’ to go.

Over the years of my priesthood, I’ve met many good people who feel the same way that I did. Maybe some of you fit in that category.

But the more I grow in my spiritual life—in other words, the more I try to follow Jesus Christ—the more I’m intrigued, and perhaps even perplexed, by the subtleties of the Lord’s teaching. Yes, he says when somebody sins against me, I should go and tell them their fault. But he also says: turn the other cheek (Mt 5:39), do not judge lest you be judged (Mt 7:1), be patient and let the weeds grow up with the wheat until the harvest (Mt 13:24–30).

So how am I supposed to act to really follow the spirit of Christ’s teaching? How do I lovingly draw people to him and yet at the same time not let them be endangered if they truly are entrapped in sin?

To figure all this out, it’s important to remember that God loves all his people. He doesn’t want anyone to be lost. He’s patient, and if I’m willing to help someone, he’ll help me help them… and wait while we see how the person responds. So principle number one is that we don’t have to be frantic.

Then there’s another preliminary step we should follow before we get to the procedure outlined in the gospel. That important step is to observe carefully and just remain silent. Try to be neutral, uncritical, non-judgmental and even accepting, and just watch and try to figure out why the person is behaving as they are.

If you think about the Golden Rule, I’m sure you’ll realize that we all hunger for that kind of respect and acceptance. If I’m a rational person, then I act for a good reason. Won’t you take a moment and try to see what that is before you jump down my throat? That’s all any of us asks, right? And the amazing thing is, silence is a place of great power and healing. We might say that it’s God’s lap.

I know a wonderful doctor named Colleen who treats many pediatric cancer patients. As you can imagine, that’s very difficult and emotionally draining work. This oncologist has a picture of her grandmother in her home, and every day she sits and looks at it for a few minutes before leaving for her office. Her grandmother was born in Ireland and had a lot of that old-world wisdom.

One time when Colleen was very small, her kitten got run over. It was her first experience with death and she took it very hard. Her parents tried to comfort her by telling her that the kitten was in heaven with God, but Colleen didn’t feel much better. She prayed to God and asked him to give her kitten back, but God didn’t do it.

In her anguish, she turned to her grandmother and asked, “Why?” Her grandmother didn’t tell her that her kitten was in heaven like the other adults did. Instead, she simply held Colleen and reminded her of the time when her grandfather had died. She, too, had prayed to God, but God didn’t bring Grandpa back. She didn’t know why. Then Colleen just leaned into the soft warmth of her grandmother’s shoulder and sobbed softly. When she finally looked up into her grandma’s face, she saw that her grandmother was crying as well.

Even though her grandmother couldn’t answer her question, a great loneliness had gone and Colleen did feel better. All the assurances that Peaches was in heaven didn’t give her this strength or peace. Colleen said, “My grandmother was a lap—a place of refuge.” Then she made a breathtaking discovery. She said, “I know an awful lot about cancer in children, but what I really want to be for my patients is a lap. A place from which they can face what they have to face and not be alone.”

That’s what I think Jesus wants us to be: a lap for one another. That’s what it means to love your neighbor as yourself. That’s why love is the fulfillment of the law (Rom 13: 9–10).

Dear God, help us to be patient with each other. Help us to see with your eyes and love with your heart. And above all, use us as your lap. Amen.