Don’t Be Cautious, Don’t Be Prudent

The 11th Sunday in Ordinary Time
Today’s Readings: [Click here]

One of my favorite advice columnists, Amy Dickinson, writes for the Chicago Tribune. Her column is called “Dear Amy.” This past week, someone wrote in and said that one of her parents’ closest friends is a police officer. She continued, “Unfortunately, he was present when I made a mistake about 10 years ago. This incident did not involve me going to jail, nor was it an incident that might have landed me in jail. However, as a result, I do feel a sense of shame whenever I see this person. I feel that he dislikes me because of this.”

Amy replied that part of growing up and becoming an adult is admitting your mistakes, and that includes putting up with the shame that goes along with those mistakes. She advised the young woman to talk to the policeman friend and say, “Look, every time I see you, I’m reminded of my actions and I want you to know that I’m still embarrassed and ashamed.” She added that the gentlemanly response from him would then be, “Forget it. It’s ancient history. You’ve turned out well and that’s the most important thing.”

When I read this week’s gospel, I thought about the person who wrote that letter. Here was this sinful woman, apparently well known in her town. Clearly, she has repented of her past life and is ashamed. With great faith and courage and humility, she ministers so tenderly to Our Lord. She uses her tears to bathe his feet and she dries them with her hair, then covers them with kisses and anoints them with ointment. Pause for a moment to picture this touching and humble scene.

Jesus, of course, is moved with compassionate love and mercy. He tells her, “Your sins are forgiven… your faith has saved you. Go in peace.”

Meanwhile, the Pharisee—Jesus’ dinner host that night—was scandalized! He didn’t make the gentlemanly reply that Dear Amy suggested. Far from it! Instead, he had insulting and demeaning words for both Our Lord and the woman—two put-downs in one sentence: “Surely, if this Jesus were truly a prophet, he would know just what sort of person this woman is… that she is nothing but a terrible sinner.”

Well, there you have it: the main difference between God and man.

God is willing to let us be sorry for our mistakes. He will forgive us for them and, for all intents and purposes, tear that page out of our personal history. Forgiven and forgotten.

But we human beings aren’t usually so generous. Why? Several reasons.

For one, we’re suspicious: can a leopard really change his spots? Doubtful! In other words, once a sinner, always a sinner.

For another, we’re jealous: if a person does the crime, he’s got to do the time. It isn’t fair that God would wipe the slate clean just like that. I certainly wouldn’t!

And third, we’re afraid: how do I know that this person won’t come back and take advantage of me again? I’ve got to protect myself!

So in our suspicion, jealousy and fear, we become stingy in receiving and giving the love of God. At the same time, unfortunately, we demonstrate that we lack the very faith in Jesus Christ that St. Paul writes about today.

Because Jesus was God, he certainly had an advantage over us mortals in that he could read hearts. He could look into the heart of the woman in the gospel and know that she had atoned and turned away from her sins. So in that respect, maybe it wasn’t so hard for him to forgive her.

We don’t have that kind of ability, however. All we’ve got to work with is a person’s external behavior and the words they speak. We have no way to know what’s going on in the depth of another person’s soul.

So you might think that the proper response to this uncertainty would be caution and prudence.

But for the Christian of faith, Jesus says: No! It’s the exact opposite. Don’t be cautious. Don’t be prudent. Don’t be suspicious or jealous or scared. Just be generous to forgive. And be quick about it, too.

When Peter and Jesus had a conversation about forgiveness, Our Lord made it clear that we have to forgive not once, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. Isn’t that the height of mercy and generosity—to let someone off the hook again and again, without the assurance that they have reformed to our standards.

Think about it. Our world desperately needs our witness as Christian people who are quick to forgive, and cheerful about it, too. If you’re like me, you probably read or watch the news and just shake your head at how much anguish is caused by people being judgmental, small-minded, hateful and stingy with their compassion. Let us vow not to be like that—not anymore.

Lord, teach me to be better at forgiving. Stir my heart with your loving grace, and make it swell with mercy and compassion. Amen.