Receive a Child, Offer Christ’s Love

The 25th Sunday in Ordinary Time
Today’s Readings: Wis 2: 12, 17-20; Ps 54; Jas 3: 16 – 4: 3; Mk 9: 30-37

In the gospel today, Jesus’ apostles—who have now been with him for three years—were stroking their egos as they argued which of them was the greatest. Christ took a seat, called them over, and explained how greatness is measured in God’s eyes. He brought over a young child and taught them that according to the kingdom of heaven, spiritual greatness is found in those who trust in the Lord with childlike humility. Woe to anyone who places stumbling blocks before these little ones. Woe to anyone who causes them to lose their faith in Jesus.

It may sound like a simple principle—and maybe even an obvious one—but this can be a very demanding teaching. That’s because it is all too easy to inadvertently put a stumbling block in front of someone that might even push them to lose their faith in Christ.

The sad irony is, it’s often people who are religious and trying to live a good life who are the worst offenders!

Sometimes you’ll hear it said that we are supposed to hate the sin but love the sinner. The idea, of course, is that sinfulness is a bad thing and displeasing to God… but every person, including a sinner, is precious to him and is savable.

Actually, “hate the sin, love the sinner” is not a teaching of Christ. It is not a teaching of the Church. Just the opposite.

Surprised? Well, here’s why: it’s almost impossible to separate a person from his behaviors and attitudes without collateral damage. Think of our Lord’s parable of the wheat and the weeds. He said that the farmer should let them grow side by side until the harvest, because there was a danger if you tried to pluck out the weeds, you’d also hurt some of the wheat.

Let me give you a first-hand example. About ten years ago, I was sent to St. Paul’s in Danville to be the assistant pastor. I was a fairly new priest and very zealous.

As I got to learn about the community, I found out that divorce was rather prevalent. I wanted to address this issue and try to impress on people the sacredness and permanence of marriage.

So I preached a very tough sermon. If I recall my words, I think I made the comment that in God’s eyes, divorce and remarriage was one of the worst sins—ranking right up there with murder. I went on to explain the reasoning behind marriage… and even encouraged people to look into an annulment if they found themselves in that situation.

I thought I was preaching something hopeful and encouraging… but I learned that I got it wrong. Some people never heard anything I said after my initial salvo that divorce and remarriage is as evil as murder. Their ears closed, because they immediately felt that I was condemning them. The damage was so bad that I know a few people left the parish—and maybe even the Catholic Church—because of my remarks. And when I went back to St. Paul’s as pastor several years later, there were some people who still had no use or trust for me because of that sermon.

I can justify my good and holy motives until I’m blue in the face, but the fact of the matter is, me and my big mouth put a stumbling block in front of some people and possibly caused them to lose their faith in Jesus Christ. I pray that God, who knows our hearts, will have mercy on me.

All through society, there are people who are trying their best to live decent lives but who feel judged and condemned by others because of past mistakes—or worse, because of who they are. This is especially sad when it’s people in the church who do the condemning. Read some of the comments made by Pat Robertson, or James Dobson of Focus on the Family, or Don Wildmon of the American Family Association. Maybe they mean well, but to a lot of people they come across as judgmental, hateful and evil.

And perhaps even worse, think about some of the things that we folks say to each other.

A friend of mine was telling me last week about how a young Catholic fellow—the son of one of his good friends—was planning to marry a non-Catholic outside the church. His godfather was upset over it and was trying to persuade him to change his mind. So he told him, “If you do this, you’re going to hell.” Wow. We don’t have an official declaration that Adolf Hitler is in hell, but that’s where this boy is going. Hate the sin but love the sinner? No… woe to anyone who places a stumbling block before these little ones.

A gay friend told me that his grandmother told him how much Jesus hated homosexuals... AIDS was the proof. After years of self-loathing and struggling, he finally worked up the courage to ask a priest just where in the gospels did Jesus preach such condemnation. Nowhere! exclaimed the priest. That was a profound moment of revelation and hope. Hate the sin but love the sinner? No… woe to anyone who causes one of these little ones to lose their faith in Jesus.

The point is, pointing out what we call the sins or weaknesses in others is not going to draw them closer to Christ’s truth or Christ’s heart. It’s not going to (quote) “save them.” Rather, it’s likely to put the blame on you for driving a wedge between them and Jesus.

So what are we supposed to do? How do we genuinely help people do better in their lives?

What Jesus did was spend time with people that the rest of the world condemned: tax collectors, prostitutes, lepers, alcoholics, thieves, the poor, and lots of others. He made them his friends first… he showed them he cared… that he loved them… only then conversion followed. Quite a few.

That’s a pretty good model. We’ve got to give our time, our prayers, our heart, our patience, our good example. We’ve got to bite our tongue a lot. Maybe we’ll discover small openings and opportunities to gently and compassionately draw people to God. Remember, God wants people to make good choices even more than we do—and in his good time, he can give them the graces to make it happen. We should trust him and simply be his vehicle!

May we all take to heart Christ’s beautiful words: Whoever receives one child such as this in my name, receives me. We are all that child in need of love and affirmation. May we always receive it—and offer it.