August 29, 2004: On Social Life

The Twenty-Second Sunday in Ordinary Time
August 29, 2004



One of the most beloved saints of the church is St. Elizabeth of Hungary, whose feast we celebrate on November 17. Elizabeth, who lived in the 13th century, was the daughter of a king. When she was just four years old, her parents prearranged her marriage, as was the custom of the times. Elizabeth’s future husband was Louis — not himself a king, but a member of the nobility. Louis was a very kind and virtuous man, and he became a most worthy ruler.

Now, Louis had a younger sister named Agnes, a girl who was the same age as Elizabeth. But when it came to their character, Agnes and Elizabeth were total opposites.

Agnes loved fancy clothes and dances and lavish dinner parties. Her favorite thing in life was to have a good time and make a big splash wherever she went. Elizabeth, on the other hand, couldn’t stand all the glitzy outfits and jewelry she was expected to wear. She hated all the phoniness and posturing and wicked gossiping.

Instead, Elizabeth really tried to live a good and humble Christian life. On Sundays, when she went to Mass — which she did faithfully — she would “accidentally on purpose” leave her gloves home so the poor girls who didn’t have any wouldn’t feel bad. In church, she took her crown off and put it back on only when Mass was over. For Elizabeth, the only real royalty in church was Jesus.

Agnes and her friends thought Elizabeth was a fool. They criticized her, laughed at her, and even snubbed her because she wasn’t interested in the things they thought were important. Yet isn’t it funny: here we are, 800 years later, and the only reason we remember Agnes at all is to compare her to the girl who had sense enough to see the really valuable things in life… a girl who went on to become St. Elizabeth of Hungary.

In the Gospel today, we read that Jesus went to have dinner at the home of one of the leading Pharisees. Naturally, people had their eye on Our Lord. There are several places in the Bible where we find Jesus enjoying a social life, as we might call it. Another famous example is when He goes to the marriage feast at Cana.

Social life was important for Jesus. He realized that getting together with other human beings and just enjoying their company is an important and fun part of life.

The saints, like Elizabeth of Hungary, also realized this, but they put social life in its proper perspective. We can learn a lot about meeting and mingling with others from looking at the example of Our Lord and the saints.

To begin with, it’s pretty apparent that your social life can be a good or a bad thing. It can help you to become a better, more virtuous person, or it can drag you down and lead you to vice. Your social life might even be a major factor in the salvation or damnation of your soul.

The people you socialize with have a lot of power over you. That’s why parents make such a big deal over the friends their kids spend time with. The friends you choose can lift you up or pull you down — spiritually and in many other ways, as well. And in the same way, you can be a means of good or evil for the people you hang around with. Isn’t it sobering to think that YOU may be a key factor in whether your friends and family make it to heaven!

To some extent, it’s impossible to choose many of our friends and acquaintances. Circumstances may simply throw us together — things like business, school, our neighborhood, the clubs and teams and activities we participate in.

Still, you do have a lot of control over who your steady friends are — the people you like best and choose to spend time with. The example of the saints, as always, is a helpful guide to what a good social life should be like.

First, we see that it’s wise to associate with people who respect our faith. As much as possible, it’s important to favor Catholic friends — not to the exclusion of non-Catholics, but for the most part — because Catholics can understand and encourage each other when it comes to our religion and religious practices — like when to go to Mass, not to eat meat on Fridays in Lent, how to prepare for marriage, and lots of other things. People of the same faith are also likely to share the same moral values. That’s an important help, especially in our crazy world today.

The saints show us that it’s also smart to steer clear of people who criticize religion in general, and our Catholic faith in particular. Beware of people who tear down the Church, or criticize the Pope or Bishop or Priests, or dissent from the Church's teachings and doctrines. We also ought to avoid people who curse and swear and tell smutty stories. Stay away from people who drink too much or who think the only way to have a good time is by bringing sex into the picture. Keep away from social climbers and social butterflies whose only interest in life is themselves and having a good time.

Please understand that these are not recommendations to be snobbish or standoffish — but simply to avoid a steady social diet of people who are likely to draw you away from the things of God and weaken you and hurt your soul.

On the other hand, our social life should include active works of mercy — things like visiting the sick, the elderly, and the poor… going out of our way to make friends and strangers alike feel welcome and comfortable… looking for ways to be useful and helpful. These are the things that St. Elizabeth did — and that’s why she expected that she’d get to heaven! Making someone else happy is the best way to be truly happy yourself. Try it.

If Christ and the saints could enjoy a happy social life, then surely we can do the same. It’s good and necessary for body and soul. But may we always learn from them how to make our socializing wholesome, upstanding, and Catholic.

Let us pray that the Lord will bless us and guide us always. Amen.




Today’s Readings:
Sirach 3, 17–29
Psalm 68
Hebrews 12, 18–24
Luke 14, 1 and 7–14